Dear 2014 Version of Xavi’s Mom,
Hey there, friend.
You have something on your shirt. I think it’s spit-up… or
maybe it’s breast milk… perhaps it’s Publix icing from when you were eating
your feelings. Let’s go with option #3 because at least that’s a delicious
excuse for the hot mess you are right now.
But, hey, chin up. Things will get better. Trust me. I’m
from the future. (Insert space-like mystical music.)
Here are some things I
want you to know:
1. This WILL get better. Right now it seems like
you’re falling down a hole. You’re exhausted. You’re hungry. You feel alone. Your
boobs are 2 completely different sizes. You’re covered in … whatever that is…
But it’ll get better. You can do this. You were made to be a mom. Not in the cliché
way either – literally – you were made to be a mom. You’ve got all of the
physical qualifications. (Even if they’re not even close to the same size right
now.) If the girls from 16 and Pregnant can make it, so can you!
2. Yes. You are spending ½ of your day hooked up to
a machine in a closet. You’re missing out on all the good conversations. You’re
scarfing your lunch down (if you’re lucky enough to eat lunch) in less than 7
minutes. You’re late for work EVERY. DAY. because you’re pumping. All. The.
Time.
But trust me – one day soon you’ll miss this. You’ll miss that sweet boy
being comforted by you and only you. You’ll miss those long nights of being
summoned to his room. You’ll miss this. Trust me.
A year from now you’ll be so deeply in love with that little
boy that you’ll actually be thinking about doing all of this over again. (Put
that middle finger down, 2014 Version of Xavi’s mom. I’m serious!) But don't worry - it won't be too hard to talk yourself out of it... and Jason will be there to remind you of how crazy that sounds. ;)
You know how right now you can’t wait for him to take a nap
just so you can have a second to put on a bra… or brush your teeth… or shower…
or pee? – Well, honestly that’ll never change. But soon something amazing will
happen. You’ll miss that sweet boy during his naps. But don’t be stupid. Don’t
you go in there. He’s fine. Trust me. Don’t you dare wake up that baby.
Soon that sweet boy will be hilarious. I’m talking
tears-in-your-eyes funny. He’ll do something new every day and you’ll be
amazed.
Soon all of the long nights, longer days, and feelings of being lost will fade away. You'll hardly be able to remember these feelings now.
You (and Xavi) will make it though this.
I guess what I'm trying to say, 2014 version of Xavi’s mom: You’re doing great and you'll only get better!
Trust me. I’m from the future.
P.S.: The 2015 version is Xavi's mom is amazing!
